Seek Ye First

Awhile ago I wrote about seeking answers to certain prayers that I have been praying for years.  My conclusion was that God's word says to ask, seek, knock, and ye will find.  By the time I finally reasoned it through, it seemed so clear.

But here I am, months later, with the same prayers, questions, and desires on my heart.  The words of an old song stopped me in my tracks this afternoon.  I'm sure you know it: Seek ye first the kingdom of God / And His righteousness / And all these things will be added unto you / Allelu, Alleluia.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God.

It's right there in the Bible, in Matthew 6:33, but that was not what I had previously concluded.  Somehow I'd missed that verse.  I had been thinking that asking, seeking, and knocking was about seeking the answers to my prayers.  Have I been seeking the wrong thing all this time?  Maybe, instead of prayers for answers, I should be praying for the kingdom of God.  You know, "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done."

What does that mean, though?  What does seeking the kingdom of God look like?  I don't have answers for those questions.  I'm almost afraid to find the answers.  I'm afraid that it'll be like the love conundrum: God says to love Him, loving Him means obeying His commands, His commands are to love Him.  A wonderful, never-ending circle that I don't understand.  Is seeking God's kingdom like that?  I don't even know where to start.