As some of you
know, I decided back in February to not sign the offered contract for next
year. There are myriad reasons, both
personal and professional, that all add up to the fact that it’s time to move
on; Alaska is not a good fit for me anymore.
Because of that, I am now 10 school days (and 15 days total) away from
joining the ranks of the unemployed.
Besides the obvious, there are 2 problems with this: I don’t know where
to look, and I don’t deal well with rejection.
I have been told
that the sky is the limit, and it really is.
I am not married, have no kids, no significant other, and no attachment
with any particular geographic location.
I could literally go anywhere in the world. For someone who has trouble making decisions,
this is not a good thing. I have
narrowed it down to somewhere closer to my family. That doesn’t really help, though, because
there are several states that are closer to Idaho than where I am now:
Washington, Oregon, Montana, Wyoming, Utah, Colorado, the Dakotas, California,
etc. I’m kind of overwhelmed. The trouble is not with finding a job. The trouble is with knowing where to look and
how to focus the search.
I don’t deal
well with rejection. At all. This is because I tend to take things
personally, and this is proving especially true in relation to teaching. Teaching isn’t just a job or a career for me;
it’s a calling. Being a teacher is part
of who I am. Therefore, when I am told
that I am not what they are looking for or I’m not good enough, they are not
just rejecting me for the job. It feels
like they are personally rejecting me as a person. It’s not true, and form letters should be
impersonal enough to soften the blow, but they don't. It’s enough to throw me into a funk.
Spring is
finally making a beautiful appearance in Alaska, but I am having a hard time
enjoying because I am so burdened by my inability to find a job, the hassles of
moving 2000 miles south, and the inevitable rejection that accompanies a job
search.
